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User blog:Obsessedperson/Can't take it anymore.... So I'm letting it all out now.
Okay, so I haven't made a blog recently, and I feel like with everything happening I really should, because I'm about to burst and murder everybody. :) #I feel like I'm getting leaned on a lot by a lot of people. I don't think anyone realizes I have my own problems. The complaining I do do is NOTHING compared to what it would be like if I let everything out. #My relationships are a mess! Good grief, I could murder myself for this ALONE! Gods... #My kids are driving me to the breaking point. #I feel like everyone's just kinda...ignoring me now. I mean yeah I'm a crazy psycho, but at least say that you're busy. I hate sitting there and waiting for a responce and then I find out you forgot I was even talking to you. #I've been dealing with a lot of bullying and stuff at school. I come home crying often, so yeah. #I've been dealing with a lot of guilt after -coughs- some things. #My stepdad is bipolar, and he gets mad at me a lot.... He's really strict and harsh a lot, and even though I love him, it's starting to kill me inside. #I lost a dear friend/sister of mine last week, Anna. She died in a car accident and it really just kills me inside to go to school and she's not there anymore. #I just found out that my boyfriend is moving to Egypt next month. FML. -sighs- And I was trying to get a flight to go see him over Christmas. But there's no way in hell my parents would let me go to Egypt, attended or unattended. We just don't have that kind of money. HALLEJUAH HES NOT LEAVING ME! #My parents are really kinda...poor. I mean we have money, but it's really hard for us. I have to pay for a lot of my own stuff and I have had to work several jobs so I could help out. #My parents rely on my grandparents a lot... Look at #10 for the reason. #My family always doted on my brother cause he was the only boy... No one really paid attention to me. They skipped everything for my brother, including my recitals and stuff. They always ignored me and only cared about him. #I've been dealing with a lot of near death situations. Like a lot. In the last week, I almost died at least 20 times, and not of my own doing. #I've been dealing with clinical depression since I was ten..... -sigh- Then there's the OCD, ADHD, multiple personality.... blah blah blah. #People keep thinking I want attention. REALLY?! Really? Stupid people..... I'm sick of attention. Unless I'm onstage performing for school or something, I just want to be normal. As normal as I can get. #I don't sleep or eat, well if I do, barely. #It's getting harder to restrain myself from hunting like crazy.... Plus there's no animals around much. So I'm seriously wondering if you guys want me to leave. I just don't know what to do anymore. And it's killing me. I really just don't know anymore. I really love you guys, and I love Josh with all my heart and then some, but it's taking a toll on me mentally, physically, and emotionally. And my family is FINALLY noticing. -mutters- Damn clueless bastards.... But in case I do leave.... Chey: You've always been there for me... Gotten me out of a lot of stuff... Been the person I always turned to. But now I don't think even you can help me this time. Shawn: You're a great brother... Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You've got a big heart and even though we fought a lot, I still love you as a brother. Kyra: Oh gods.. You were the first of my siblings that I met on here... And we've helped each other through a lot of tough spots.... But I can't just ignore it anymore. Sam: You're still a brother to me, you've done so much for me... -sniffles- And I do owe you. Cailin: You crazy crazy psycho... I love you to death, sissy... But I know even you're tired of me. And I can tell. Missy: Oh my goshness... this is one of the harder ones to write... Missy, you're like a sister to me. I love you to death *not literally* and you've gotten my stupid ass out of a lot of stupid situations, but I think it's time for me to deal with it on my own. Chaia, Burnadette, Netalia: Oh gosh... I love you like crazy... And you've helped me so much no matter how much you insist you suck at comforting people. Just you listening was enough. Zach: You definitely helped me through a lot -coughs- yeah. And I hope it all works out for you. Josh: I know you don't have an account on here, love... I love you. But I don't know how much more of this seperation and torment I can take. I would do anything for you... I love you so much. I just.. -bursts into tears- I just can't keep hurting anymore. I'm not saying that we have to break up... I'm just saying I'm starting to hurt a lot more. I love you Josh and I always will. Mmmmm if I forgot anybody, I'm sorry, I kinda can't see cause I'm crying.... thumb|198px|left|Baby please dont....please dont go... Category:Blog posts